How the USA Dominated Gold Medals at the 2012 London Olympics
Overview
This report analyzes a table chart detailing the medal distribution among the top ten nations at the 2012 London Olympics. The analysis focuses on gold, silver, and bronze medals, along with the total medal count for each country. The USA led in gold medals, while China had the highest total medal count. Russia excelled in bronze medals.
Key Features
- The USA secured the most gold medals.
- China achieved the highest overall medal count.
- Russia stood out in bronze medal acquisitions.
- Hungary won the smallest proportion of silver medals.
- The report compares medal counts across different nations.
Our Review
This essay provides a basic overview of the medal distribution at the 2012 London Olympics. However, it lacks depth and precision in its analysis. The writing is somewhat repetitive, and the structure could be improved for better coherence. We believe that incorporating more specific comparisons and using a wider range of vocabulary would significantly enhance the essay's quality. The grammatical errors need addressing for a higher score.
Student Submission
The table chart illustrates the number of medals won by the top ten nations in the London 2012 Olympic sports.
Overall, the USA recorded the highest number of Gold medals, while Hungary won the smallest proportion of Silver medals. Meanwhile, China stood out with the highest total number of medals.
Looking at the information in more detail regarding, medals won by the nations, The number of Gold medals was at 46, considerably higher than China at 38 and all other countries , which were centred loosely around 30. The silver medals showed a similar pattern with Gold by far the highest at 29, and other nation's medals approximately at 27 in China.
Conversely, medals won in the Olympic games, Bronze was the highest at 32 in Russia, although in this figure the USA was second at 29, followed by China at 23, Great Britain at 19, South Korea at 7, and Germany, France, Hungary, and Australia at 14, 12, 5, and 22 respectively. However, the total medals won those figures were largest in the USA, China, and Russia at 104, 88, and 22 sequentially. In comparison, other countries won medals Close to 70.
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. IELTS Writing Score: 6/9 ■■■■■□□□
2. Score Breakdown:
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Task Achievement: 6/9 - The essay addresses the task by describing the main trends in the data. However, the description lacks precision and detailed analysis in several places. The organisation is somewhat disjointed, jumping between medal types without a clear, logical structure. More specific comparisons and a clearer overall structure would improve this score.
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Coherence and Cohesion: 5/9 - The essay uses some cohesive devices (e.g., "overall," "meanwhile," "conversely"), but the overall structure is weak. Paragraphing is inconsistent, and the flow of information is jerky. Better use of topic sentences and clearer linking words would improve coherence. The repeated use of "medals won" is also repetitive and detracts from the flow.
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Lexical Resource: 6/9 - The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, although some words are used inappropriately (e.g., "centred loosely around"). There is some repetition of vocabulary, and more precise and sophisticated vocabulary could be used to describe the trends.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6/9 - The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there are several grammatical errors (see error analysis). Accuracy is inconsistent, and more attention to grammatical precision would improve the score.
3. Error Analysis:
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Vocabulary Errors:
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centred loosely around] -> [ clustered around/concentrated around ] : The phrase "centred loosely around" is awkward and imprecise. A more concise and accurate phrase is needed. - [
sequentially] -> [ respectively ] : "Sequentially" implies a time order, while "respectively" is needed to indicate the correct correspondence between countries and medal totals.
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Grammar Errors:
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Looking at the information in more detail regarding, medals won by the nations, ...] -> [ Looking at the information in more detail regarding medals won by the nations,... ] : The comma after "regarding" is unnecessary. - [
The number of Gold medals was at 46, considerably higher than China at 38 and all other countries, which were centred loosely around 30.] -> [ The USA won 46 gold medals, considerably more than China's 38 and all other countries, which clustered around 30.] : This sentence is awkwardly phrased and needs restructuring for clarity and conciseness. The use of "at" is also inappropriate. - [
other nation's medals approximately at 27 in China] -> [ other nations won approximately 27 silver medals] : This phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. - [
However, the total medals won those figures were largest in the USA, China, and Russia at 104, 88, and 22 sequentially.] -> [ However, the total number of medals won was highest for the USA (104), China (88), and Russia (22).] : This sentence is grammatically incorrect and poorly structured. A clearer and more concise phrasing is needed. - [
Close to 70] -> [ approximately 70] : "Close to" is less formal and precise than "approximately".
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4. English Model Essay:
The table chart displays the medal counts of the ten most successful nations at the 2012 London Olympics. Overall, the USA achieved the highest number of gold medals, while China secured the greatest overall medal tally. Hungary, conversely, won the fewest silver medals.
A detailed analysis reveals that the USA's gold medal count (46) significantly surpassed that of China (38), with other nations clustering around 30. A similar pattern emerged for silver medals, where the USA's 29 medals were considerably higher than the approximately 27 won by China. The distribution of bronze medals, however, presented a different picture. Russia led with 32 bronze medals, followed by the USA (29), China (23), and Great Britain (19). South Korea won 7 bronze medals, while Germany, France, Hungary, and Australia secured 14, 12, 5, and 22 respectively.
In terms of overall medal totals, the USA (104 medals) significantly outperformed China (88) and Russia (22). The remaining nations achieved medal totals of approximately 70. In conclusion, while the USA dominated in gold and silver medals, Russia's strong performance in bronze medals contributed to a diverse medal distribution amongst the top ten nations.
