Why Advertising Can Mislead Consumers About Their Needs
Overview
This essay discusses the debate around advertising, specifically whether it encourages unnecessary purchases or informs consumers about beneficial new products. It explores arguments for both sides, such as the influence of discounts and colors on purchasing decisions, and the informational value of advertisements regarding product details and availability. The author ultimately argues that advertising is a form of "digital fraud" because the advertised products often do not live up to the portrayed image.
Key Features
- Presents two sides of the argument: advertising as a motivator for unnecessary purchases vs. a source of information about new products.
- Cites discounts and colors as factors influencing consumers to buy things they don't need.
- Acknowledges that advertising provides information about product details and selling locations.
- Expresses a personal opinion that advertising is misleading.
- Summarizes the arguments in the conclusion.
Our Review
We find that this essay addresses the prompt but suffers from several weaknesses. The arguments are simplistic and lack depth. For example, the idea that "amazing colors" lead people to buy things they don't need is underdeveloped and unconvincing. The language is also informal and contains grammatical errors, hindering the essay's overall clarity and persuasiveness. While the essay presents a clear opinion, it does so in a rather unsophisticated manner, using phrases like "digital fraud" without sufficient justification. A stronger essay would provide more nuanced arguments and support them with specific examples and evidence.
Original Topic
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy thing we really do not need.
Other say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.
Which point of view do you agree with?
Give reasons for your answer and include any
Student Submission
The issue of advertising has been a considerable subject of debate in the past few years. Mainly some people think that advertising motivates us to buy things that we Don't need to buy, While some believe that it helps to describe About a new item. This essay will talk about both sides of it and later i will add my opinion. Actually there are plenty of reasons available for thinking that, advertising attracts us to order or buy something that we Don't need. The primary reason is that, sometimes discount offers play a huge role for this factor. To explain, in advertising they show that, you will receive 10% discount in a particular product. Although people Don't need the product, they still bought it for the discount offer. Another reason is that, the Colour affects. To illustrate, Colour can attract anyone for his attraction. In advertising, they show amazing colors for a Single product, which led customers to buy the thing even though they don't need it. In contrast, we can come to know about a product details from the advertisement. Such as, the colour of the item, how to use it and many more things. Secondly, from advertisement we can know About the Product selling place. For that, it became easy to find the product for buying it from their location. Those are some common reasons for people to think that, advertisement helps us to make our life easier by telling About a new Product. From my point of view, i prefer that, advertisements are a type of digital fraud. Cause, they show something very good and attractive,which led people to buy it but if you buy it you will not find it that much good compared to what they have shown. To sum up, in one hand, reasons such as, discount and colors are mainly reasonable for the topic that, advertisements mainly encourage us to buy things that we Don't need.in the other hand, from advertisement, you will be able to know about a new item details with selling location. However, i think that they don't give that much good products to people in comparison to what they show to the public during the advertisements.
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. Academic Question Analysis:
- Question Type: Opinion
- Academic Requirements: Discuss both viewpoints on the impact of advertising (encouraging unnecessary purchases vs. informing about beneficial products) and clearly state and justify a personal opinion.
- Argument Position: The essay presents a position but lacks the depth and development needed for a high band score. The stated opinion is simplistic and not fully supported.
2. Academic Structure Evaluation:
- Introduction: The introduction is weak. It mentions the debate but doesn't clearly state the essay's position. The phrase "This essay will talk about both sides of it and later I will add my opinion" is informal and lacks academic precision.
- Body Paragraphs: The body paragraphs present some arguments but lack depth and supporting evidence. The reasoning is simplistic (e.g., discounts and colours influencing purchases). The arguments are not fully developed, and the structure is somewhat disorganised.
- Conclusion: The conclusion summarises the main points but doesn't offer a strong, well-supported final statement. It reiterates the opinion without adding significant new insight.
- Academic Cohesion: The essay lacks strong cohesive devices. Transitions between paragraphs and ideas are weak. The structure feels disjointed.
3. Academic Language Analysis:
- Academic Vocabulary: The vocabulary is limited and contains several informal words and phrases ("plenty of reasons," "amazing colors," "digital fraud"). The range is insufficient for a high band score.
- Academic Grammar: The grammar contains several errors (e.g., tense inconsistencies, incorrect articles, subject-verb agreement issues). Sentence structures are simple and repetitive.
- Academic Style: The style is informal and conversational. The use of "I" is frequent, which is not ideal for a formal academic essay.
- Academic Expression: The ideas are presented in a simplistic manner, lacking the nuanced expression expected in academic writing.
4. IELTS Band Scores:
- Task Response: 5/9 The essay addresses the task but lacks depth of analysis and development of arguments. The opinion is presented but not fully supported with evidence or reasoning.
- Coherence & Cohesion: 5/9 The essay shows some coherence but lacks a strong logical flow. Transitions are weak, and the overall structure is disorganised.
- Lexical Resource: 5/9 The vocabulary is limited, and several errors are present. The range and precision of vocabulary are insufficient for a higher band score.
-
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5/9 The grammar contains several errors that impede understanding. Sentence structures are simple and lack complexity.
Overall Band: 5/9
5. Academic Writing Features Analysis:
- Argument Quality: The arguments are weak and lack depth. They rely on generalisations rather than specific examples or evidence.
- Evidence Usage: The essay lacks concrete evidence to support its claims. The examples provided are simplistic and unconvincing.
- Critical Analysis: The essay demonstrates limited critical analysis. It presents a simplistic view of a complex issue.
- Academic Style: The style is informal and conversational, lacking the formality expected in academic writing.
6. Detailed Improvement Recommendations:
- Task Response Improvements: Develop arguments with more depth and provide specific examples to support claims. Engage in more critical analysis of the issue. Refine the opinion statement to be more nuanced and sophisticated.
- Coherence Improvements: Use clearer topic sentences and transitions to improve the logical flow. Structure the essay more effectively to ensure a clear progression of ideas.
- Vocabulary Improvements: Expand vocabulary range by using more precise and sophisticated academic terms. Eliminate informal language.
- Grammar Improvements: Proofread carefully to correct grammatical errors. Practice constructing more complex and varied sentence structures.
7. Model Essay: (A 6-band essay)
The pervasive influence of advertising is a subject of ongoing debate. While some argue that advertising manipulates consumers into purchasing unnecessary goods, others maintain that it serves as a valuable source of information about new products that can enhance our lives. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a balanced conclusion.
Proponents of the view that advertising promotes unnecessary consumption often point to the manipulative tactics employed by advertisers. The use of emotionally charged imagery, celebrity endorsements, and persuasive language can create artificial desires and influence purchasing decisions irrespective of genuine need. For instance, the proliferation of advertisements for fast fashion, often featuring fleeting trends and unsustainable practices, encourages impulsive buying and contributes to environmental concerns. Similarly, the strategic use of discounts and limited-time offers can pressure consumers into purchasing products they might otherwise forgo.
Conversely, it is argued that advertising plays a crucial role in informing consumers about new products and technological advancements that can improve their quality of life. Advertisements can highlight the benefits and functionalities of innovative products, allowing consumers to make informed choices about purchases that genuinely address their needs. For example, advertisements for energy-efficient appliances or medical technologies can raise awareness and encourage adoption of products that contribute to improved health and environmental sustainability. Furthermore, advertising can stimulate competition and innovation, ultimately benefiting consumers through lower prices and a wider range of choices.
In conclusion, while advertising can undoubtedly be manipulative and contribute to unnecessary consumption, it also serves an important function in disseminating information about new products and technologies. The ethical responsibility lies with advertisers to avoid deceptive practices and to prioritize transparency and accuracy in their messaging. Ultimately, the impact of advertising depends on the responsible actions of both advertisers and informed consumers.
