How Advertising Influences Consumer Choices: A Balanced View
Overview
This IELTS essay explores the debate around advertising, presenting arguments for both its negative influence (motivating unnecessary purchases) and its positive role (providing information about new products). The essay discusses the impact of discount offers and color in advertising, as well as the informational benefits of knowing product details and availability. It concludes with a personal opinion that advertising is a form of digital deception.
Key Features
- Discusses two sides of the advertising debate.
- Provides reasons why advertising encourages unnecessary purchases, such as discount offers and color psychology.
- Explains how advertising can be informative, providing details about products and their availability.
- Includes a personal opinion on the nature of advertising.
- Offers a concluding summary of the arguments presented.
Our Review
This essay addresses the topic adequately but needs significant improvement to achieve a higher band score. The arguments are somewhat simplistic and lack depth. The language used is basic and repetitive, and there are noticeable grammatical errors. To improve, the writer should focus on developing more sophisticated arguments with concrete examples, expanding their vocabulary, and ensuring grammatical accuracy. We recommend practicing with a wider range of topics and seeking feedback on sentence structure and word choice.
Student Submission
[06/12, 9:32 pm] M.A.07: The issue of advertising has been a considerable subject of debate in the past few years. Mainly some people think that advertising motivates us to buy things that we Don't need to buy, While some believe that it helps to describe About a new item. This essay will talk about both sides of it and later i will add my opinion. [06/12, 9:46 pm] M.A.07: Actually there are plenty of reasons available for thinking that, advertising attracts us to order or buy something that we Don't need. The primary reason is that, sometimes discount offers play a huge role for this factor. To explain, in advertising they show that, you will receive 10% discount in a particular product. Although people Don't need the product, they still bought it for the discount offer. Another reason is that, the Colour affects. To illustrate, Colour can attract anyone for his attraction. In advertising, they show amazing colors for a Single product, which led customers to buy the thing even though they don't need it. [06/12, 9:56 pm] M.A.07: In contrast, we can come to know about a product details from the advertisement. Such as, the colour of the item, how to use it and many more things. Secondly, from advertisement we can know About the Product selling place. For that, it became easy to find the product for buying it from their location. Those are some common reasons for people to think that, advertisement helps us to make our life easier by telling About a new Product. [06/12, 9:58 pm] M.A.07: From my point of view, i prefer that, advertisements are a type of digital fraud. Cause, they show something very good and attractive,which led people to buy it but if you buy it you will not find it that much good compared to what they have shown. [06/12, 10:03 pm] M.A.07: To sum up, in one hand, reasons such as, discount and colors are mainly reasonable for the topic that, advertisements mainly encourage us to buy things that we Don't need.in the other hand, from advertisement, you will be able to know about a new item details with selling location. However, i think that they don't give that much good products to people in comparison to what they show to the public during the advertisements.
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. IELTS Writing Score: 5/9 ■■■■■□□□□
2. Score Breakdown:
- Task Achievement: 5/9 - The essay addresses both sides of the argument (the negative and positive impacts of advertising), but the arguments are simplistic and lack depth. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive of earlier points. More sophisticated examples and analysis are needed.
- Coherence and Cohesion: 5/9 - The essay is organised into paragraphs with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the linking between ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent and sometimes clumsy (e.g., "To explain," "To illustrate").
- Lexical Resource: 5/9 - The vocabulary is adequate but lacks range and precision. Repetitive use of words like "advertising" and phrases like "don't need" limit the score. More sophisticated vocabulary is needed to express ideas effectively. There are also some word choice errors (e.g., "describe about").
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5/9 - Grammatical errors are frequent, particularly with articles (a/an/the), subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Sentence structures are often simple and lack complexity. While the essay is understandable, the grammatical inaccuracies detract from the overall quality.
3. Error Analysis:
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Vocabulary Errors:
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describe About] -> [ describe ] : "Describe" is a transitive verb; it doesn't need the preposition "about." - [
Colour affects] -> [ Colour affects or Colors affect] : While "Colour" is acceptable, it's more consistent to use "Colors" throughout. Grammatically, the verb should be plural ("affect"). - [
selling place] -> [ place of sale or retail outlet] : More sophisticated vocabulary choices.
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Grammar Errors:
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advertising attracts us to order or buy something that we Don't need] -> [ Advertising attracts us to buy things we don't need.] : More concise and grammatically correct. "Don't" should be lowercase. - [
Although people Don't need the product, they still bought it for the discount offer.] -> [ Although people don't need the product, they still buy it for the discount.] : Tense consistency (present tense). "buy" is more natural than "bought" here. - [
which led customers to buy the thing even though they don't need it.] -> [ which leads customers to buy it even though they don't need it.] : Tense consistency (present tense). Avoid unnecessary words like "thing." - [
From my point of view, i prefer that, advertisements are a type of digital fraud.] -> [ In my opinion, advertisements are a form of deceptive marketing.] : Improved word choice and grammar. - [
in one hand] -> [ On the one hand] : Idiomatic expression. - [
in the other hand] -> [ On the other hand] : Idiomatic expression.
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4. English Model Essay:
The pervasiveness of advertising has sparked considerable debate. While some argue that it manipulates consumers into purchasing unnecessary goods, others maintain that it provides valuable information about new products. This essay will examine both perspectives before offering a concluding opinion.
Critics argue that advertising employs manipulative tactics to boost sales. Discount offers, for instance, often entice consumers to buy products they don't need. The strategic use of vibrant colours and emotionally resonant imagery also plays a significant role in persuading consumers to make impulsive purchases. These techniques exploit psychological vulnerabilities, leading to unnecessary spending.
Conversely, advertising serves as a crucial source of information about new products and services. Advertisements often detail product features, usage instructions, and availability, facilitating informed consumer choices. This information can be particularly helpful for consumers unfamiliar with a particular product category. Furthermore, advertising can drive competition, encouraging businesses to innovate and offer better products at competitive prices.
In my view, while advertising can provide useful information, its manipulative potential outweighs its benefits. The prevalence of misleading claims and the exploitation of psychological biases render much advertising ethically questionable. The focus on profit maximization often overshadows the genuine needs of consumers.
In conclusion, while advertising can inform consumers about new products, its manipulative tactics, such as the use of discounts and emotionally charged imagery, frequently lead to the purchase of unnecessary goods. Therefore, a critical approach to advertising is essential to avoid being swayed by its persuasive power.
