How Drug Sales Shifted Across Continents: An IELTS Chart Analysis

Overview

This essay summarizes a bar chart that illustrates the percentage of total sales for a drug company across three regions (America, Europe, and Asia) from 2002 to 2006. Initially, America led in sales, but this trend reversed over time. Asia experienced significant growth, eventually surpassing both America and Europe. Europe maintained relatively stable sales figures throughout the period.

Key Features

• Initial Dominance: America held the highest sales percentage in 2002 at 41%.
• Shifting Trends: America's sales declined, while Asia's sales increased significantly.
• European Stability: Europe's sales remained relatively consistent.
• Asia's Rise: By 2006, Asia's sales reached 40%, exceeding America and Europe.
• Market Transition: The chart illustrates a clear shift in market dominance from America to Asia.

Our Review

This is a solid IELTS Task 1 response. The candidate clearly identifies and describes the key trends in the bar chart. The organization is logical, and the use of cohesive devices makes the essay easy to follow. We appreciate the range of vocabulary used to describe the data. To push this response to a higher band, we would suggest focusing on more sophisticated linking words and refining sentence structures for greater impact. A more impactful concluding statement could also strengthen the overall response.

Student Submission

The bar chart delineates the distribution of a drug company’s total sales across three regions—America, Europe, and Asia—over a five-year period from 2002 to 2006, expressed as a percentage.

In 2002, America's sales were the highest at 41%, surpassing Europe’s 35% and Asia’s 25%. However, this trend reversed in subsequent years as sales in America gradually declined, falling to 27% in 2004. During the same period, Europe’s sales figures displayed a contrary trend; starting from 35% in 2002, they steadily increased to a peak of 38% in 2004 before plateauing at 30% in 2006. Meanwhile, Asia's performance illustrated a robust upward trajectory, commencing at 25% in 2002 and reaching 40% by 2006.

In 2003, America's sales witnessed a decline to 35%, while Asia surged to 35%, marking a significant shift in market dynamics. By 2005, America slightly rebounded to 29%, yet remained below its original 2002 figures. Asia continued its upward momentum, achieving 37% sales in 2005, and finally outpacing both America and Europe in 2006 with a noteworthy 40%. Overall, the data clearly illustrate a transition of market dominance from America towards Asia, with Europe maintaining relative stability throughout the analyzed period.

IELTS Essay Assessment

1. IELTS Writing Score: 7/9 ■■■■■■■□□

2. Score Breakdown:

• Task Achievement: 7/9 - The essay fully addresses all parts of the task. The description of the chart is accurate and detailed, providing a clear overview of the trends and significant changes over the five-year period. However, a more concise and impactful concluding statement summarizing the overall shifts in market share could enhance the response.

• Coherence and Cohesion: 7/9 - The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that logically present the data year by year, and a concluding paragraph. The use of cohesive devices such as "however," "during the same period," "meanwhile," and "overall" effectively links ideas and ensures smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. The structure could benefit from slightly more sophisticated linking words to show more complex relationships between trends.

• Lexical Resource: 7/9 - The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using words such as "delineates," "surpassing," "contrary," "robust," "trajectory," "commencing," "plateauing," and "market dynamics" appropriately. While the vocabulary is accurate and effective, there's room for more precise and sophisticated word choices in places. Some synonyms could be explored to avoid repetition.

• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7/9 - The essay displays a good command of grammar with accurate sentence structures and varied grammatical complexity. There are minimal grammatical errors, and the language is generally fluent and easy to understand. However, some sentences could be more concise and grammatically refined for higher impact.

  3. Error Analysis:

• Vocabulary Errors:

  • None of significant impact. Minor improvements in word choice could be made for greater precision and impact.

• Grammar Errors:

  • None of significant impact. Minor improvements in sentence structure could enhance conciseness and flow.

  4. English Model Essay:

The bar chart illustrates the fluctuating market share of a pharmaceutical company's sales across America, Europe, and Asia between 2002 and 2006. Initially, America dominated the market, accounting for 41% of total sales in 2002, significantly ahead of Europe (35%) and Asia (25%). However, a marked shift occurred over the subsequent five years. American sales experienced a consistent decline, reaching a low of 27% in 2004 before a slight recovery to 29% in 2005. Conversely, Europe witnessed a gradual increase, peaking at 38% in 2004 before settling at 30% by 2006. Asia's performance, however, was the most dramatic; its share rose steadily, overtaking both America and Europe to command 40% of the market by 2006. This represents a significant transition in market dominance from America to Asia, with Europe maintaining a relatively stable, albeit less prominent, position throughout the period. The data clearly indicates a dynamic and evolving market landscape within the pharmaceutical sector.