Why Extend Your Apartment Rental: Request Letter to Your Landlord
Overview
This is a sample letter responding to an IELTS task about extending an apartment rental agreement. The writer initially agreed to a six-month lease but now needs to stay longer due to unforeseen changes in their study plans. The letter addresses the landlord, Chresting, to request a nine-month extension, explain the change in plans, and report a maintenance issue in the apartment.
Key Features
- Clear Request: States the desired extension period (9 months).
- Explanation: Provides a reason for the change in plans (university program extension).
- Problem Reporting: Informs the landlord about a leaking washbasin tap.
- Inconsistent Tone: Mixes informal greetings with formal requests.
- Grammar Issues: Contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
Our Review
We find that this letter, while addressing the core requirements of the IELTS task, suffers from several weaknesses. The language is often unclear and contains grammatical errors that impede understanding. The explanation for the extension feels somewhat vague and could be strengthened with more specific details. Additionally, the tone is inconsistent, which detracts from the letter's overall impact. To improve, the writer should focus on using clearer language, correcting grammatical errors, and maintaining a consistent tone throughout the letter. A more structured approach to paragraphing would also enhance readability.
Original Topic
Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter • say how long you now want to rent the apartment for • explain why your plans have changed • tell the owner about a problem in the apartment
Student Submission
Dear Chresting,
Hope you are doing well. Jive months ago, I mode a sin month agreement to sent youwe place. However, I am wishing ta stay more longer here. I am writing a letter to request you to increase my stay in your apartment.
As per the prior rental agreement made with you, six months! was the tenure of stay here this agrechere for my stay. However, I want to extend 9 months more assure thast my will be final and there will be no future extension of this contract.
There is a studies got sudden change extended by in my plan because my 9 months Earlier, as per university program, I was eligible for an internship the after 6 months. Unfortunately dive to some issues and delay in Therefore, the 9 process, I glissed chave to continue In addition to that the with this apartmen chance for same my studies apartment is in a convenient location. Therefore, from here. I don't want very to shift
Despite of all the facts that the asset for me, I would like apartment is a good insue of repe reide washroom. There discus constant leakage of the wash-basin tap, that g be repdir Ao Ao be are in as soon a good fou think needs as possible, Rest all the things condition if you take my thequest. and I would appreciate
Thank You.
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. Letter Task Analysis:
- Letter Type: Semi-formal
- Purpose: Request to extend rental agreement
- Target Reader: Apartment owner (Chresting)
- Key Requirements:
- State desired rental extension length (9 months)
- Explain reason for changed plans (study extension)
- Report a problem in the apartment (leaking washbasin tap)
2. Content Coverage:
- Opening: The opening is slightly informal ("Hope you are doing well") but does state the purpose of the letter.
- Main Points: The letter mentions the desired extension (9 months), explains the reason (study extension due to unforeseen delays), and reports the leaking washbasin. However, the explanation is somewhat unclear and poorly structured.
- Closing: The closing is abrupt and lacks a clear statement of expectation or next steps.
- Tone: The tone is inconsistent, mixing informal greetings with a more formal request.
3. Letter Organization:
- Format: The letter uses a basic format, but lacks consistent paragraphing and structure.
- Paragraphing: Paragraphs are poorly structured and lack clear topic sentences. Information is presented in a rambling manner.
- Flow: The flow of information is disjointed and difficult to follow. Ideas are not logically connected.
- Length: The letter is below the minimum word count.
4. Language Usage:
- Style Appropriacy: The style is inconsistent, mixing informal and semi-formal elements.
- Vocabulary Range: The vocabulary is limited and contains errors ("more longer," "assure thast").
- Grammar Control: There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the letter (e.g., tense inconsistencies, incorrect word order, subject-verb agreement).
- Expression Clarity: The message is unclear in places due to grammatical errors and poor sentence structure.
5. Detailed Band Scores:
- Task Achievement: 4/9 The letter addresses all the bullet points, but the explanation is poorly presented and lacks clarity.
- Coherence & Cohesion: 3/9 The letter lacks logical organization and coherence. Ideas are poorly connected, and the overall flow is disjointed.
- Lexical Resource: 4/9 The vocabulary is limited, with several errors affecting clarity. The range is insufficient for this task.
-
Grammar: 3/9 Numerous grammatical errors significantly impact the clarity and understanding of the message.
Overall Band: 3.5/9
6. Specific Letter Features:
For Semi-formal Letters:
- Tone Balance: Poor balance between formal and informal elements.
- Style Mix: Inconsistent mixing of styles leads to confusion.
- Reader Awareness: The letter doesn't fully consider the reader's perspective or expectations.
7. Improvement Suggestions:
- Format Improvements: Use clearer paragraphing to separate ideas. Use a more structured approach.
- Content Improvements: Rewrite the explanation of the study extension more clearly and concisely. State clearly what action is expected from the landlord (e.g., confirmation of the extension, agreement on the rent).
- Language Improvements: Correct grammatical errors. Improve vocabulary range and accuracy. Use more precise language.
- Style Improvements: Maintain a consistent semi-formal tone throughout the letter.
8. Model Essay:
Dear Chresting,
I am writing to request an extension to my current six-month rental agreement for the apartment at [Apartment Address]. My current agreement expires on [Date], and I would like to extend my tenancy for a further nine months, until [Date].
My original plan was to vacate the apartment after six months. However, due to unforeseen delays in my university program, my internship has been postponed. This requires me to remain in [City/Town] for an additional nine months to complete my studies. The location of your apartment is extremely convenient for my university and my part-time job, making it essential for me to continue my tenancy.
Furthermore, I would like to report a minor issue with the apartment. There is a persistent leak from the washbasin tap in the bathroom. I would appreciate it if you could arrange for this to be repaired at your earliest convenience.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely, [Your Name] [Your Contact Information]
This model essay demonstrates improved clarity, structure, and grammar, resulting in a potential band score increase. The language is more precise and the tone is consistently semi-formal. The request is clearly stated, and the reasons are explained logically.
