Why Extend Your Apartment Rental: An IELTS Sample Letter
Overview
This is a semi-formal letter written to a landlord requesting an extension of a rental agreement. The writer, Ankit, wishes to stay in the apartment until April 2025 due to enrollment in a nearby personal support worker program. The letter also addresses a problem with the water heater in the kitchen. The tone is polite and respectful, aiming to persuade the landlord while also reporting a necessary repair.
Key Features
- Clearly states the desired rental extension to April 2025.
- Provides a reasonable explanation for the change in plans (course enrollment).
- Reports a specific problem with the apartment's water heater.
- Maintains a semi-formal and respectful tone throughout.
- Follows a standard letter format with appropriate salutations and closing.
Our Review
We think this letter is a good start, but it could be improved. The explanation for needing the extension could be more persuasive, perhaps emphasizing the reliability of the tenant. While the letter covers all the necessary points, using more sophisticated vocabulary and smoother transitions would enhance its overall impact. Addressing the landlord's potential concerns proactively could also strengthen the request. Overall, it's a decent attempt that could benefit from some refinement.
Original Topic
Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter • say how long you now want to rent the apartment for • explain why your plans have changed • tell the owner about a problem in the apartment
Student Submission
Dear Mr. Dahiya, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to express my intent to stay in your rented apartment for longer than six months that I agreed to earlier. According to the signed agreement, the six months will get completed in January but I wish to stay here till April 2025. I have enrolled myself in a personal support worker program in an institution that is in proximity to this location. The course will be ending in March 2025, so I want you to allow me stay here till April. You have always been kind and generous to me which is also a reason, I don’t wish to vacate this apartment and find a new one for a small period of time. I also want to draw your attention towards some minor inconvenience I have been facing here. From the last two days, the water heater in kitchen is not working and it feels very cold to wash utensils with cold water. It will be a great help if you can send a technician to check for the problem.
I look forward to hearing from you positively. Yours faithfully Ankit
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. Letter Task Analysis:
- Letter Type: Semi-formal
- Purpose: Request to extend rental agreement and report a problem.
- Target Reader: Apartment owner (Mr. Dahiya)
- Key Requirements:
- State desired rental extension length (April 2025).
- Explain reason for changed plans (enrollment in a nearby program).
- Report a problem in the apartment (broken water heater).
2. Content Coverage:
- Opening: Salutation is appropriate and purpose is clearly stated in the first paragraph.
- Main Points: All three key requirements are addressed. The letter clearly states the desired extension, provides a reason, and reports the faulty water heater.
- Closing: The closing is polite and expresses anticipation of a positive response.
- Tone: The tone is consistently semi-formal, polite, and respectful.
3. Letter Organization:
- Format: The letter follows a standard letter format with appropriate salutations and closing.
- Paragraphing: Paragraphing is logical and separates the different aspects of the request.
- Flow: The flow of information is clear and easy to follow.
- Length: The letter is adequately long, exceeding the 150-word minimum.
4. Language Usage:
- Style Appropriacy: The style is appropriate for a semi-formal letter.
- Vocabulary Range: Vocabulary is adequate but could be slightly more sophisticated.
- Grammar Control: Grammar is mostly accurate with minor inconsistencies.
- Expression Clarity: The message is clear and easily understood.
5. Detailed Band Scores:
- Task Achievement: 7/9 [All parts of the task are addressed, but the explanation of the changed plans could be slightly more detailed and persuasive.]
- Coherence & Cohesion: 7/9 [The letter is well-organized and flows logically. However, smoother transitions between paragraphs could improve cohesion.]
- Lexical Resource: 6/9 [Vocabulary is functional but lacks range and precision in places. More sophisticated vocabulary could elevate the score.]
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Grammar: 7/9 [Grammar is largely accurate, but minor errors and slightly simplistic sentence structures are present.]
Overall Band: 7/9
6. Specific Letter Features:
For Semi-formal Letters:
- Tone Balance: Well-balanced, polite and respectful without being overly formal.
- Style Mix: A good mix of formal and informal elements is present, creating an appropriate tone.
- Reader Awareness: The letter shows awareness of the recipient's role and maintains a respectful tone throughout.
7. Improvement Suggestions:
- Format Improvements: None needed.
- Content Improvements: Expand on the reasons for enrolling in the program. Perhaps mention the career prospects it offers, making the need for extended stay more compelling. Quantify the inconvenience of the broken water heater (e.g., "making it difficult to prepare meals").
- Language Improvements: Use more sophisticated vocabulary (e.g., instead of "minor inconvenience," use "minor issue" or "inconvenience"). Vary sentence structures to avoid repetition.
- Style Improvements: Consider adding a sentence expressing gratitude for the landlord's past kindness earlier in the letter, making the request for an extension feel more natural.
8. Model Essay:
Dear Mr. Dahiya,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request an extension on my current rental agreement for the apartment at [Apartment Address]. My current six-month agreement expires in January, but due to a significant change in my circumstances, I would be grateful if you would consider allowing me to remain until April 2025.
I recently enrolled in a personal support worker program at [Institution Name], a course that promises excellent career prospects in the healthcare sector. This institution is conveniently located near the apartment, making it essential for me to remain in this location to successfully complete my studies, which conclude in March 2025. Relocating just before completing this intensive program would be extremely disruptive and detrimental to my studies. Your previous kindness and generosity have made this apartment a comfortable and convenient place to live, and I am very appreciative of that.
Furthermore, I would like to report a minor issue. For the past two days, the kitchen water heater has been malfunctioning, making it difficult and unpleasant to wash dishes in cold water. This is causing some inconvenience, and I would be grateful if you could arrange for a technician to repair it at your earliest convenience.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully, Ankit
