How Internet Overtook Cable: TV Technology Trends in Someville (2004-2014)
Overview
This line graph illustrates the changing popularity of four TV technologies—cable, broadcast, Internet, and satellite—in Someville from 2004 to 2014. Broadcast and cable TV declined, while Internet and satellite TV grew. Notably, the Internet surpassed cable to become the most popular option from late 2009 onwards. The data highlights the shift in consumer preferences over the decade.
Key Features
- Broadcast Decline: Started as the most popular, plummeted to the least popular.
- Cable Fluctuations: Initially high, peaked in 2007, then sharply declined.
- Internet Growth: Rose from obscurity to become the dominant technology.
- Satellite Steady Growth: Increased in popularity but remained second to the Internet.
- Key Turning Point: Internet overtook cable around 2009.
Our Review
This essay provides a decent overview of the data, but it could be stronger with more insightful analysis. The description is a bit too literal; we need to see more interpretation of why these trends occurred. For example, the essay mentions "constant social incentives" for Internet adoption but doesn't elaborate. The language is functional, but lacks sophistication. The essay also suffers from some awkward phrasing and imprecise vocabulary. To improve, focus on explaining the underlying reasons for the shifts and refining the language for clarity and impact.
Student Submission
The given line graph compares four kinds of technical appliances applied to watching television in Someville from 2004 to 2014. Generally, two types of technology, which are cable and broadcast, showed a downward trend, while for Internet and satellite, the provided figures seemed to denote a contradiction to such statistics. Also, in Someville, the Internet did overtake cable’s position as the most typical form of technology used for watching television in a period from late 2009 to 2014.
Specifically, broadcast emerged to initially dominate the whole data with a figure of around 100000 households using this technique for such an activity. As time flies, this number declined gradually without rising again, leading to it becoming the least prevalent sort of technical appliance with merely around 20000 households using this to operate their own televisions. Relatably, with a reduction in number, cable joins broadcast as another one which experienced a decline in amount. Initially, it is comparable delineating the figures of both cable and broadcast as they used to lay at around 90000 to 100000 households, albeit broadcast made it a bit higher than cable. Whereas, cable slightly grew in number over time and started to rise to nearly 120000 households in 2007, contradicting the data relating to broadcast which underwent significant reduction indeed. The cable’s figure maintained its stability until 2009 when the data notably dropped by nearly 50000 households and ended up being in the third position at around 65000 households in 2014.
At a second glance, the Internet faced the most noticeable breakthrough among such technological appliances. In 2004, the Internet was just an unpopular technology to be seen, it covered a small area of Someville with around 10000 households applying this development to such a routine of watching TV. However, along with constant social incentives, in just 10 years, in the region of Someville, the Internet became widespread and was installed in 200000 households in 2014. Last but not least, the satellite was also a promising competitor in the race but still faced challenges fostered by the development of the Internet. Satellites initially took a higher place than the Internet as it laid at around 70000 households accordingly and was apparently in the third position in 2004. Things started to change as satellites made such few actual impacts on people’s growing demand for quality experiences in front of TV screens. The clues are even more evident as the graph has shown that the number of satellites applied to the activity of watching TV did grow, but seemingly in moderation, and was less likely to become mainstream based on the trend itself. Finally, satellite ended up being in the second position, which recorded a figure of around 110000 households, in 2014. However, this technique still created a huge gap between it and the most famous one, which is the Internet.
IELTS Essay Assessment
1. IELTS Writing Score: 6/9 ■■■■■□□□
2. Score Breakdown:
-
Task Achievement: 6/9 - The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a description of the main trends and some supporting detail. However, the analysis lacks depth and some key comparisons are not fully explored. The writing is descriptive rather than analytical. There's a tendency to simply recount the data rather than interpreting it.
-
Coherence and Cohesion: 6/9 - The essay is organised into paragraphs with a clear introduction and conclusion. Logical connections between paragraphs are present, but the flow could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but not sophisticated. There's some repetition of phrases and ideas.
-
Lexical Resource: 6/9 - The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, although some words are overused (e.g., "figure," "household"). While the vocabulary is generally accurate, some choices are slightly awkward or imprecise (e.g., "time flies"). There are some instances of less precise vocabulary choices.
-
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6/9 - The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and tense consistency. While the majority of sentences are understandable, some are overly long and complex, leading to occasional grammatical inaccuracies.
3. Error Analysis:
-
Vocabulary Errors:
- [
Relatably
] -> [ Similarly ] : "Relatably" is not the correct word to use here; "Similarly" better reflects the connection between the two trends. - [
deliniating
] -> [ showing / illustrating ] : "Delineating" is too formal and slightly inaccurate in this context. A simpler verb would be better. - [
contradicting the data relating to broadcast
] -> [ in contrast to the broadcast figures ] : This phrase is more concise and natural. - [
such an activity
] -> [ watching television ] : Avoid unnecessary phrases. Be more direct. - [
made it a bit higher
] -> [ was slightly higher ] : More concise and natural phrasing. - [
in moderation
] -> [ gradually / slowly ] : More precise wording. - [
foster by
] -> [ driven by / fueled by] : "Foster" is not the correct word to describe the influence of the internet. - [
made such few actual impacts
] -> [ had little impact] : More concise and natural.
- [
-
Grammar Errors:
- [
As time flies, this number declined gradually without rising again,…
] -> [ Over time, this number gradually declined and did not rise again,… ] : "Time flies" is a cliché and doesn't fit the formal tone. The sentence structure is also improved for clarity. - [
albeit broadcast made it a bit higher than cable
] -> [ although broadcast figures were slightly higher than those for cable] : Improves clarity and formality. - [
the Internet was just an unpopular technology to be seen,…
] -> [ Internet use was minimal,… ] : More concise and natural. - [
in just 10 years, in the region of Someville,…
] -> [ Within 10 years, in Somerville,… ] : More concise and natural.
- [
4. English Model Essay:
The line graph illustrates the changing popularity of four television viewing technologies – broadcast, cable, satellite, and internet – in Somerville between 2004 and 2014. Overall, broadcast and cable television experienced a significant decline, while internet usage showed dramatic growth, surpassing all other technologies by 2014. Satellite television also increased, but at a much slower rate.
Initially, broadcast television was the dominant technology, with approximately 100,000 households using it in 2004. However, this figure steadily decreased to around 20,000 by 2014, making it the least popular option. Cable television started at a similar level, reaching nearly 120,000 households in 2007 before declining sharply after 2009, ending at approximately 65,000 households in 2014.
In contrast, internet television usage experienced remarkable growth. Starting from a low base of around 10,000 households in 2004, it rapidly increased to become the most popular technology by 2009, reaching over 200,000 households by 2014. Satellite television also showed an increase, rising from approximately 70,000 households in 2004 to around 110,000 in 2014, maintaining a consistent, albeit slower, growth trajectory.
In conclusion, the graph clearly demonstrates a significant shift in television viewing habits in Somerville over the decade, with internet television becoming overwhelmingly popular while traditional methods like broadcast and cable television experienced substantial declines.